Why Do I Need to Find Self Acceptance?

“Nothing brings down walls as surely as acceptance” ~Deepak Chopra

Good morning to you!!!

Looking for self-acceptance and self-love today? Let me put a stain in your brain.

The world is filled with judgements. If you are a woman you should look like XYZ, if you are a man you should have ABC, if you are “blank” ethnicity you should act like 123. Christian? Be this. Muslim? Look like that. Gay? Act like him. Straight? Act like her. The list goes on and on. That’s just the outside world. What about the personal judgements? It’s even worse. I am this, I have always been this, and if I step outside of it, I am a hypocrite.

Wow! What a difficult way to live your life. Always wondering what others have to say about you. Then after awhile of believing what they say, it ends up internalizing. Now it isn’t even safe to retreat into your inner self because once you do all of the memories of your past are waiting to tell you how you don’t measure up.

It’s insane! Sheer madness!

How do I know? This has been my life for over 30 years.

I won’t get into my entire life story at this moment. I will just reveal it piece by piece as we travel this journey of self-acceptance together. The beginning of the year has already been quite eventful. The struggle of losing baby weight has now spilled over into two years of ups and downs. I felt very defeated. Then something happened.

I had a break from reality on my birthday. I was belligerent, ranting, raving, and screaming about my past. But…I thought I healed from this?

The next morning my boyfriend hit me with some hard to swallow information that caused me to escape the outside world and try to understand what was going on.

It was the best thing that ever happened to me. I began to reconnect with my spirit, and it guided me through a serious issue.

I discovered that I was crystallized as that child who walked around with her hands stretched out begging for anyone and everyone to accept and love me.

I was a rejected soul in need of reassurance that I am good enough for love.

Does this register with you? It should if you were ever a victim of trauma, childhood abandonment, or abuse. We think that a few prayers and finding a loving partner will remedy the situation. But it doesn’t. Instead, it places an extraordinary amount of strain on your relationship with self and everyone around you.

Here is the key, though. If you are rejecting, unkind, unloving, and strained from self then the people around you are just a mirror of that.

The first and most important relationship you have is with yourself.

When the people around you leave. When the lights are out at night, and you lay down to close your eyes. That sorrowful and weeping child is there screaming, “PLEASE LOVE ME!!!”

Can I present a challenge this morning? Look into the mirror. Gaze. See that little girl or boy, and ask her/him, how can I love you?

Before attending to anyone else, spend just a few minutes figuring out how to love that little one on the inside so desperate for acceptance. What does he or she need? What does he or she want?

Understand that no one will be able to give you what you need to suffice the deprived child inside. You are the only one.

Don’t know how to get there? Might I suggest a simple mantra every morning: I love you (your name) because… then find one thing that you love about yourself and plug it in.

I’ll go first. I love you Latasha because you are compassionate.

Ahh, that felt good.

Did this help? If so, comment below. If not comment below. If you dare to share comment your mantra.

NAMASTE

 

Who Do You Love?

WHO DO YOU LOVE?

It is 3:00 in the morning and I am up! I can’t sleep and why you may ask… something is TRULY bothering me. The problem, until 40 minutes later, was that I didn’t know what it was.

Tears streamed my face as I began to analyze the ratio of accomplishments that could have been reached versus those that have not. It is mind-boggling to think of the opportunities I self sabotaged and then mentally berate myself when the deed was done.

After a long conversation with my boyfriend the truth came tumbling out of my very own mouth. I don’t care about myself. Sure I say that I do but actions weight far more than empty words spoken in an attempt to defend.

This is where the plot thickens. I don’t care about myself because I was never taught to do so by my surroundings. My lack of gumption to move forward in what I desire is a learned behavior taught to me subconsciously by my family and then my community.

The moment I told of the molestation and nothing was done to the perpetrator was the moment I was taught that my life was of little value. So at the age of 11 I gained a negative connotation that has slithered its way into my 30’s.

As depressing as that may sound let me explain why this is a great day for me. Now I know why and because I know I can embark upon my next phase of healing.

Now that I know why I can tell you that if you are suffering with completing goals, in a relationship with someone who is toxic but you can not leave, consistently put others above yourself and/or compare your self to others this may be your issue as well.

How much do you love yourself? How much do you care about that person that peers back at you in the mirror? Is he or she worth it?

YES! You. BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL, FABULOUS, OUTSTANDING you are precious enough to be valued. Valued by whom? By yourself of course! You are worth it to go on and complete your goal, to be happy and in love with someone who loves you back, and to be put above the needs of others.

Say it with me… I am worthy, I am precious, and I am valuable despite what people may think, say, or how they may act towards me. 

Who do you love? Who do you care about? Who is most important?

YOU ARE!