Lazy… Lazy… Lazy!!!!

Hi Guys!!!

Sorry it has been so long but I must say I have been a preoccupied person lately. So now I am here sipping this lovely Eggnog Latte from Starbucks and must say… IT IS DIVINE!!!

To be brutally honest with you… I have been battling against a severe bout of laziness. Although I know I have many things to do and many goals to carry out… I find myself idle. Perhaps it is my ever-present desire to procrastinate when feeling pressured or possibly even my thought that nothing I do will ever be good enough. Or is there is another cause at play?

As a child my mother would call me lazy. Seriously I could accomplish 5 out of the 6 tasks she asked (well DEMANDED is more the word lol) of me and because the sixth either took longer or did not get completed I was a lazy person who would struggle through out life to get things done. So 18 years of being told the same thing at least a few times a week and PRESTO… we have a self fulfilled prophecy (or shall I say a transmitted fulfilled prophecy).

Am I truly lazy? Is anyone truly lazy? NO…. What you are facing is a plethora of other underlining issues such as:

lack of motivation

low self concept (disbelief that you are capable of accomplishing the task)

Plain dislike for the job at hand

Fear of failure or success

If you find yourself feeling lackadaisical about certain things try to either read a self-help or motivational quote, tell yourself you are well capable of carrying this task out and seeing it to completion, or be honest enough to admit that you are really not feeling this task and check if it is necessary to even pursue.

Remember you are not lazy… you just need an extra humph to get you going!

Now GET TO WORK YOU DILIGENT SOUL YOU!!!

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Who Do You Love?

 

Who Do You Love?

Who Do You Love?

WHO DO YOU LOVE?

It is 3:00 in the morning and I am up! I can’t sleep and why you may ask… something is TRULY bothering me. The problem, until 40 minutes later, was that I didn’t know what it was.

Tears streamed my face as I began to analyze the ratio of accomplishments that could have been reached versus those that have not. It is mind-boggling to think of the opportunities I self sabotaged and then mentally berate myself when the deed was done.

After a long conversation with my boyfriend the truth came tumbling out of my very own mouth. I don’t care about myself. Sure I say that I do but actions weight far more than empty words spoken in an attempt to defend.

This is where the plot thickens. I don’t care about myself because I was never taught to do so by my surroundings. My lack of gumption to move forward in what I desire is a learned behavior taught to me subconsciously by my family and then my community.

The moment I told of the molestation and nothing was done to the perpetrator was the moment I was taught that my life was of little value. So at the age of 11 I gained a negative connotation that has slithered its way into my 30’s.

As depressing as that may sound let me explain why this is a great day for me. Now I know why and because I know I can embark upon my next phase of healing.

Now that I know why I can tell you that if you are suffering with completing goals, in a relationship with someone who is toxic but you can not leave, consistently put others above yourself and/or compare your self to others this may be your issue as well.

How much do you love yourself? How much do you care about that person that peers back at you in the mirror? Is he or she worth it?

YES! You. BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL, FABULOUS, OUTSTANDING you are precious enough to be valued. Valued by whom? By yourself of course! You are worth it to go on and complete your goal, to be happy and in love with someone who loves you back, and to be put above the needs of others.

Say it with me… I am worthy, I am precious, and I am valuable despite what people may think, say, or how they may act towards me. 

Who do you love? Who do you care about? Who is most important?

YOU ARE!