Ladies Room Confessions

Ladies Room Confessions

The maternal instinct is an automatic response that drives me daily. Even before birthing my beautiful daughter I felt like a mother. I often allowed healing waters to flow through me and wash over every hurting person in my path. It is just who I am. I probably chose to be the source of comfort for so many because on the inside I desired a mother.

I took a job as a teacher because taking care of those children served as a form of pleasure for me. It was my way of drying every tear I cried as a result of the role reversal between me and my mother. Caring for those little ones was the highlight of my day as I struggled with internal rage. How can you birth a child and make that child take care of you?

I remember telling friends that I couldn’t play outside because I needed to clean the house meanwhile my mother lay in her room watching television and puffing on Newport. She was probably seeking an escape from deep-seated pain herself. Yet, I can’t help but honestly conclude that what happened to her was not my fault and I shouldn’t have been made to become a parent at the age of 12. But there I was, cooking every night and cleaning the home from top to bottom while she enveloped herself in an apathetic cocoon of cigarettes, mind numbing television, and guilt.

Now here I am nearly 6 years after her death with a one year old. I study her immensely; watching her spunky personality evolve. She is so beautiful, strong, stubborn, determined: she is my mom. I wonder if I can right the things that went wrong with my mother. If I can rear my child to use her strengths as a source to impact the world, instead of selfishly hoarding her. I wonder if the sensitive nurturer within will be enough to suffice her independent nature. Am I good enough? I am not sure at times.

When I quietly creep into her room and caress her little face, tracing over her features, I ask myself if I would ever commit the selfish acts of my mother; Use her strongest characteristics to somehow bridge the gap of guilt and shame. Be it far from me.

These are the heavy burdens I carry in my soul. The things that I make-up, clothe, and eat to escape.

I love my mother, she had many great qualities, but I do not want to be like her. For that I feel even worse.


Nigga This and Nigga That

Nigga This and Nigga That: Confederate Flag

Nigga this and nigga that

If my eyes were closed Id swear you were black

On the surface you say you’re in love with the culture

But on the real you’re a covert vulture

Appropriating the style of a skin tone you demise

Having everyone fooled, but to me there’s no surprise

Why do we feel the need to be superior to others

No matter the outer we are all sisters and brothers

That’s not the way you see it because you have the heart of a racist

Dabbing up black friends while wearing two faces

Oh Uneducated, misguided, and foolish one

Its mindsets like yours that held them hostage with a gun

That hung the innocent on a tree

That cut pieces of burned flesh as a trophy

That wore sheets that cowardly terrorized the few

That hid fear in their hearts because of what they knew

That this melanin you hate is strong

And collectively they would expose your wrong

We are no different that the millions of others

If we did rape your women we borrowed that piece from YOUR culture

Out of the ashes we continue to rise as a people

Contrary to your media outlets we are not feeble

Just fed up with the hypocrisy and the unmitigated gaulle

As we attempt to regain the dignity stripped from us all

Save your fake love and raise your consciousness fast

Humanity must evolve past your Nigga this and Nigga that

Why Jussie Smollett of Empire’s Sexuality Confirmation Should Be Applauded

Lost in the obsession over blonde hair and an unsurprising racist video emergence, Jussie Smollett has finally confirmed his sexuality.

Recently the Empire actor and Columbia recording artist stopped by Ellen to discuss his role on the sensational Fox television show. After answering a myriad of typical questions, Jussie made it very clear that “there was never a closet” for him. In other words the actor reinforced the gay rumors that have surrounded him from the moment the show spotlighted his incredible talent.

Is Jussie’s sexuality a cause for concern?

Here is my two cents:

What I am about to write may be offensive for some and liberating for others.

Aside from the fact that the young man’s talent is enough and his sexuality should NOT be something he has to confirm with anyone; I applaud his bravery and think it is encouraging for not only members of the LGBT community but everyone.

We all have something that we consider a personal truth that may not be popular or even shunned by society. We should uphold every person who is willing to go against the grain and just BE themselves in high esteem.

Also, I don’t know if I was the only one who cried like a baby after watching the “put the boy in the trash can” scene but it unlocked so many memories.

I have a cousin who is close to my heart. He loved to play dress up. He wrapped himself in sheets and pretended he was in a fabulous gown. He put on his mother’s heels and obsessed over Brandy’s version of Cinderella starring the late great Whitney Houston.

He was also teased from as early as 6 years old. He would run to me and cry on my shoulder and of course it was my duty to find the culprit and beat them up. I rode in the back seat of cars holding his hand as his father called him everything but his beloved son.  I dried his tears as we both vented about how every male father figure who entered his life, including his biological father, chose his younger and more masculine brother over him.

After viewing the season 1 finale of Empire, my cousin took a stand and came out to his mother.

I could not be more proud.

The once guilt ridden, scared, and fractured boy has finally emerged into a man who is true to himself.  There is no more hiding for him. No more telling his big cousin to fight the bullies. No more questioning what is WRONG with him. No more accepting less because he was taught that he was less than. NO MORE.

He is now a strong, loving, kind, courageous man who has come into his own.

And for that my hat is off to Jordan Banks.

My hero.

Keep fighting to BE true to yourself no matter who hates it or loves it.

Why Wiz Khalifa’s “For Everybody” Is Slut Shaming at Its Worst

Rapper, Wiz Khalifa, just released a new song with Juicy J titled “For Everybody”. Aside from its sub par beat and catchy hook, there is nothing special about the song except Wiz’s verse.

Juicy J starts with his normal nursery rhyme cadence and just as he was about to bore me to sleep, Wiz Khalifa enters with, “I fell in love with a stripper…”

Unless you were born yesterday or not a fan of Hip Hop, the stripper line was a dead give away that he was talking about none other than Amber Rose, his ex-wife and child’s mother.

Side note: given the events of Amber Rose’s infamous, and personally gratifying, twitter feud with Khloe Kardashian and Kanye West, I must say she has enough snap retorts and comebacks to be a stand up comedian.

Okay back on topic.

In weeks before the release of the song, Wiz posted a disturbing picture of his son’s birthday party and mentioned that he didn’t make it. The subliminal message there was just as blatant as the song.

Is Wiz trying to paint Amber Rose as a bad mother? Is he wrong for putting their business out there for everyone in the world to see? Is his verse slut shaming?

Here is my two cents:

Wiz Khalifa’s verse is very disrespectful and slut shaming at its worst. Why, you ask? If a man should have respect for any one in the world, it should be for the mother of his children. Regardless of where Amber was when he met her, the truth is he married her. Getting on songs and crying about he fell in love with her and tried to save her but she was on Instagram acting more like a THOT than a wife is a cop-out. If she was such a “hoe” then he shouldn’t have married her and certainly shouldn’t have had a child with her. Yet there he was all over my magazines, Twitter and Facebook feeds “boo’d” up and proud about it. Obviously if there was any “hoeness” about the woman, it was enough for him to put a ring on it and impregnate it.

Dear Wiz: instead of getting on songs and flooding my Time line with sympathy pictures and verses in which you are all but directly telling us Amber is being a bad mom, go sit down in a counselors office with the woman and WORK IT OUT!

I have no empathy for someone who will call his son’s mom a hoe on a song, devaluing a woman who gave birth to his son; meanwhile in videos and pictures with all kinds of women. If she is “for everybody”; SO IS HE.

I don’t have enough space on my page to go through how men are the BIGGEST hypocrites when it comes to slut shaming. Telling her she gets around but forgets to note that HIS private area has been in more walls than a tampon. PLEASE.

What would make a man think a woman would like someone who has slung his nasty Johnson all around the world then when it tired and disease ridden,  drag his limp bizkits to her after it eroded to a nub?

I digress.

In the words of Chris Brown, YOU KNEW WHAT IT WAS. You knew her back story, saw her with Kanye, and followed her social media pages.

So how about we man up and try to develop a functional co-parenting relationship with her. After all it takes one to know one.  If she was a whore when you made a connection it just simply means she was drawn to the slut within you.

For the sake of that cute little baby Bash, get off social media with this P.P. (personal problem).

And one more thing, Wiz didn’t save her, Kanye did. That is if you think a woman is in need of being “saved” by a man in the first place.

Yeah this is shade! [sips tea then side eyes an obscene picture of Wiz and Amber tongue kissing on the red carpet]

Why Michael Jordan Made Forbes 2015 World’s Billionaires List

Whether you are a basketball fan or not, chances are you have heard of the NBA legend Michael Jordan.  Not only did he change the game of basketball but he broke records off the court with entrepreneurial endeavors. As a matter of fact, it was those ventures that landed him on Forbes 2015 World’s Billionaires List.

If you are thinking that it was his long-standing shoe deal with Nike which (the shoes you and your cousin may stand in long lines and fight over), it wasn’t; not that the unconfirmed 100 million a year in sales doesn’t help. Actually, Michael Jordan’s ownership of the former Charlotte Bobcats now Charlotte Hornets is what hoisted the greatest basketball player of all time into billionaire status.

Michael Jordan is now worth 1 billion dollars and is ranked as the 1,741st richest person in the world! This confirms him as one of only 9 black billionaires as well.

My two cents:

Jordan took ownership of the basketball team so that he could stay close to the game in 2010. Now he is reaping the benefits of smart business decisions. This is proof that if you constantly work at things that you love, you will not only feel great but reap massive financial rewards as well.

I tip my shoes in your direction Michael Jordan; keep showing us why you are the G.O.A.T

Why Michelle Rodriguez’s “Stop Stealing White Superhero’s” Comments Are Completely Ignorant

For the first time in her career, Michelle Rodriguez made national headlines with her ideals on Hollywood and diversity. A TMZ reporter asked “The Fast and the Furious” actress if the rumors about her playing The Green Lantern were true in which she answered by denying the fact. She also added that minorities should stop being so lazy and stop stealing white superheroes. She drove a nail in the coffin with a suggestion to all minorities: make up your own superheroes.

Michelle Rodriguez later delivered a half-hearted apology for “once again sticking her foot in her mouth”.  There was widespread outrage that a minority would make such ignorant comments.

Were her comments really that offensive? Why would a minority make negative commentary about minorities?

Here’s my two cents:

History has proven that cultures borrow from one another.  If you doubt that then take a look at general American cuisine, religious practices, and nearly every facet of human existence.  However, let’s place the obvious to the side for a second.

The idea that superhero’s are of a “white” culture and only white actors and actresses should portray them is complete and utter ridiculousness. First things first, these are super heroes. They are fictional characters that were originally drawn during a time when white supremacy was at its height. This by no means implies that the comic book artists made up these characters to further that agenda; it just means that at the time this was the trend. Go back and look at some old Tom and Jerry cartoons and you will see a very stereotypical “Aunt Jemima” character.

We can all agree that America has evolved past SOME of its racist ways. If Hollywood would like to further push the envelope and give minorities a different take on America’s classic super heroes’ that would include them. I say that is a GOOD thing.

The point is to end the stereotype that nothing good can come from being anything other than white, straight, and male in America.

Now let’s put a pen there and shift gears. Some of the most popular fictional characters that did derive from minorities have been portrayed by white actors and actress. Characters such as Queen Cleopatra, a real historical figure by the way, was an Ethiopian woman of African descent. In the movie, God’s and Kings, The Egyptians were all played by white actors and actresses. Egypt is in Africa friends, if you did not know, and they were dark-skinned African people.  Charlie Chan, a comic book detective who was originally Asian, was depicted by a white actor wearing yellow face, Alicia Nash, a Salvadoran woman in the novel turned film A Beautiful Mind, was played by a white actress, and Tonto, a native American character in The Lone Ranger, was played by a white actor as well. This is just to name a few.

So let’s face it, Hollywood has “white washed” many of minorities’ heroes and heroines.  Therefore, Michelle Rodriguez made a statement that lacked comprehension and understanding of the struggle her fellow minority thespians have endured.

And this is why there was so much outrage and it is warranted. Please read a book and understand your history before advising others about their “laziness”.

RHOA: Why Phaedra Parks Is a Fraud

If you are a reality TV addict then you probably were watching last night’s episode of Real housewives of Atlanta in shock. Phaedra Parks, the lawyer and woman who wears many hats (literally), was the highlight of the episode. The recently divorced mother of two displayed just how over the top she could be by having not one but two bodyguards escort her home (insert eye roll here). Then she had a few preachers come over and perform an exorcism followed by a dramatic near purse slapping attempt on Kenya Moore.

Where should I start with this monstrosity? Shall I begin with a brief scoff at the fact that Phaedra actually thought she needs more protection than A-list celebrities? How about a hearty laugh at how she had the preacher cast out demons in her home only to act like one later at dinner? Or maybe I will reflect on all of her earlier antics and declare that she is the biggest fraud of them all, yeah even bigger than her now ex-husband Apollo. I think I will start there.

Phaedra. Phaedra. Phaedra. She is NOTORIOUS for telling fibs in hopes that her viewing public will take the bait and actually believe she is as innocent as she looks.  Take her first pregnancy for instance. She lied about her due date so she could present the image of a woman married before pregnancy.  She also lied about Kenya being inappropriate with her husband, which her own best friend, Kandi, read the text messages and decided it was not true. These are all lightweight compared to the lie that makes her a fraud. What lie is that, you ask? The one that told to keep up the facade of an innocent woman married to a temperamental ex con who committed fraud right under her nose and undetected.

Are we that foolish to believe that a LAWYER married a man she knew had a record and had no idea how he was making a living? The woman is obviously intelligent, she did get Bobby Brown out of several legal jams; so how are we to believe that the expensive car, clothes, and spending habits of Apollo went unnoticed by her? Possibly because Apollo willingly accepted a guilty plea and took full responsibility, as any man should have done in their situation. However this doesn’t let Phaedra off the hook. He didn’t accept the guilty plea and admit to acting alone because it was the truth, he did it because he knew one of them had to take care of the children and the best person to do so, the bread-winner, was Phaedra.

Did she know he was involved in those activities, YES! Stevie Wonder could see that obvious notion. Was she involved in the scam herself? Possibly. All I know is, it is highly unlikely that the two were living together and weren’t aware of each other’s business ventures. Which makes me wonder if she could have been a part of it herself? If that is the case it would clearly explain Apollo’s irrational behavior. She not only didn’t show up to his sentencing but would not let him see his children. What else would drive a man to the brink of insanity?

One last tidbit, the girl is a lawyer which is another word for SKILLED LIAR.

This is just my two cents though, and yes this is Shade!