“Love is like a virus; it can happen to anybody at any time” ~Maya Angelou
Love. Love. Love.
It’s a tricky subject because we all have our different perceptions. Some think love is a fluttering of the heart when you see an attractive person. Others believe love is the actions you perform daily in the lives of people who matter most. Either way, you slice it, we all have this undying need to receive the blissful feelings of LOVE.
When I was single this is all I could think about…finding a man who could reciprocate that which I was under the impression I gave. Cooked meals, foot rubs after a long day of work, and sweet notes in the middle of the day. For this reason, it was only right that a match for me would be someone who is just as cheesy, right?
I have been in a relationship for 4 and a half years now and even though my boyfriend did those things in the beginning (his variation) things began to wane. This was when I started looking around and placing demands. WHY DONT YOU LOVE ME LIKE YOU USED TO? Are questions I would ask him all the time. I needed him to speak to me and act a certain way just so I could FEEL loved.
As you could imagine that type of pressure, to live with a person who is always watching in every moment is a bit much. It gives off the idea that a person is unhappy with you if your aren’t being “over the top” every day. It was also very INSECURE!
It dawned on me that I may have the wrong idea about LOVE. I mean the pressure placed on both myself and my man was very stressful and caused lots of arguments. It’s a wonder why he retreated into his work and was less inclined to do the sweet little things he did before. It felt…FAKE.
On a quest to uncover a missing piece I stumbled across “The Mastery of Love” by Don Miguel Ruiz. If you haven’t read this book, I suggest you do so!
Without giving too much away, I discovered that real LOVE comes from within. It is something that starts and ends with me, and if I wasn’t in love with myself, it makes it tough for a person to even like me.
And what does it truly mean to love? Is it flowers, candy, and lavish dates? One evening my boyfriend pulled out all the stops, and I still wasn’t happy (very jerkish of me). Apparently, love is NOT about what others do for you. My discovery is that true love is space, acceptance, and honesty with YOURSELF.
It’s looking in the mirror at stretch marks, love handles, wrinkles, cellulite, dark circles, bruises, scars and saying…DONT CHANGE.
It’s taking the time to reflect on beautiful and not so beautiful personal qualities.
It’s acknowledgment of “good” thoughts and not so good ideas; receiving both as an amazing paradox that is HUMANITY.
It is within.
Once you are filled to the brim with self-love, acceptance, acknowledgment, peace, and understanding… it will be imminent to others around you. People will be drawn to you and want to show you love.
So why can’t you find a guy or a girl to LOVE you?
Because you haven’t found love for yourself!
Let’s do something together!
In this very moment inhale and exhale the sweetness that is around you. Focus your thoughts inward while you do so. Keep breathing.
Say… I love you [YOUR NAME]. Keep repeating until you BELIEVE IT.
Feels good to be loved doesn’t it?