WHO DO YOU LOVE?
It is 3:00 in the morning and I am up! I can’t sleep and why you may ask… something is TRULY bothering me. The problem, until 40 minutes later, was that I didn’t know what it was.
Tears streamed my face as I began to analyze the ratio of accomplishments that could have been reached versus those that have not. It is mind-boggling to think of the opportunities I self sabotaged and then mentally berate myself when the deed was done.
After a long conversation with my boyfriend the truth came tumbling out of my very own mouth. I don’t care about myself. Sure I say that I do but actions weight far more than empty words spoken in an attempt to defend.
This is where the plot thickens. I don’t care about myself because I was never taught to do so by my surroundings. My lack of gumption to move forward in what I desire is a learned behavior taught to me subconsciously by my family and then my community.
The moment I told of the molestation and nothing was done to the perpetrator was the moment I was taught that my life was of little value. So at the age of 11 I gained a negative connotation that has slithered its way into my 30’s.
As depressing as that may sound let me explain why this is a great day for me. Now I know why and because I know I can embark upon my next phase of healing.
Now that I know why I can tell you that if you are suffering with completing goals, in a relationship with someone who is toxic but you can not leave, consistently put others above yourself and/or compare your self to others this may be your issue as well.
How much do you love yourself? How much do you care about that person that peers back at you in the mirror? Is he or she worth it?
YES! You. BEAUTIFUL, WONDERFUL, FABULOUS, OUTSTANDING you are precious enough to be valued. Valued by whom? By yourself of course! You are worth it to go on and complete your goal, to be happy and in love with someone who loves you back, and to be put above the needs of others.
Say it with me… I am worthy, I am precious, and I am valuable despite what people may think, say, or how they may act towards me.
Who do you love? Who do you care about? Who is most important?